Flashbacks & T Strikes Again!

I hate flashbacks.

I get stuck in them, you know? They bounce around in my head, and I can't escape.

I had a pretty bad episode last night. I started feeling worthless and abandoned.

But on a positive note... today, I sent that message to T. Lol, I can't wait to hear what she has to say.

And before I even hit publish, I got a reply!!

K[...],

A generational divide? I would call it a complete lack of manners and more than a bit of rudeness on your part. I would have thought J¹ would have taught you better manners than what you've shown.

I am a bit upset that you copied so many of my photos (and likely my work) without saying anything to me before you took them. All you needed to do was say, "Hi...we're related. Do you mind if I copy your family photos to my tree?" I have always been willing to share my information - that's why I've made it public. A little politeness on your part would have gone a long way. I have not been impolite to you. All I asked for is a little courtesy on your part.

My wishes for being treated nicely before you copy all my work is not being mean or aggressive. I have helped dozens of people in my years of genealogy. You are the first person I've EVER encountered who flagrantly copied so much of my work and took photos without even a polite "hello" first. I don't think that I'm being unreasonable and not even slightly aggressive or impolite here.

T[...]

Hahaha, let's break this down...

I would have thought that J would have taught you better manners than you have shown.

So, J was supposed to teach me that on Ancestry.com, before you hit the "Add to my tree" button (when you are given a hint by the software), you are supposed to reach out to the author of the tree to ask for permission and wait to hear back... That's an odd thing for him to have taught me... Oh well, moving on!

A little politeness on your part would have gone a long way. I have not been impolite to you.

Let me check my notes and see if that's right...

I see that you've copied a good deal of my photographs online from my tree. While I HAVE made my tree public, it's still usually the polite thing to do - to introduce yourself FIRST (and ask permission) BEFORE copying most of their work and all of their pictures.

Hmmm... interesting use of capitals and an initial jump to poor intentions... to be honest, that's REALLY POLITE.

But this paragraph says something else too...

I am a bit upset that you copied so many of my photos (and likely my work) without even saying anything to me before you took them. I have always been willing to share my information - that's why I've made it public.

So... It would have been a waste of time to ask because she would have said yes. And that's why she made it public in the first place... You can't make this up.

Ooooooh, I get it. She wants to waste my time.

My wishes for being treated nicely before you copy all my work is not being mean or aggressive.

I wonder where I suggested otherwise?

I have helped dozens of people in my years of genealogy. You are the first person I've EVER encountered who flagrantly copied so much of my work and took photos without even a polite "hello" first.

Really? That's surprising. How old were they? Are they all retired?

I guess the moral of this story is that she wants me to waste my time to make her feel nice and useful. Wow, that's definitely some boomer mentality.

So let's give her what she wants!!

Hey T,

"I would have thought that J would have taught you better manners than you have shown."

My father taught me a lot. Some good, some bad, some useful, and some less so. One useful thing he taught me was that that kind of statement is absolutely unacceptable. Why you thought it was okay to project your negative feelings toward me onto him is beyond me.

No, my father did not teach me the etiquette of using Ancestry.com. How dare you claim to be polite.

K

I can't wait for the absolutely insane, lead-poisoned, pure lizard brain reactionary nonsense that will provoke.

[1] My biological father 🙄